Hiking

Dear Sojourner,

When I was growing up, my dad would often take us hiking in the hills of Pennsylvania. We’d cross rippling creeks and hop over dead logs while caught up in whatever tales dad spun regarding the noises we heard or what we might find out there in the woods.

I’ve always had an extremely ACTIVE imagination. In fact, during one of those childhood hikes I was convinced there was a huge black bear bounding towards us when it fact it was just a huge black dog that had wandered from a neighbors property. Yet, little Holly was quite undone and shocked that dad did not seem quite as concerned as I was. Until the dog got closer and more into focus and I realized he wasn’t going to eat me.

Like most single people on dating apps, I’d list hiking as one of my hobbies. That’s a bit of a generalization, but it seems like every third profile I come across has it listed. I’m not a “I-hiked-the-Appalachian-trail-barefoot” kind of hiker, but I enjoy being in the woods without the noise of everyday life….as long as I’m with someone. I’m a bit of a scaredy cat otherwise. Today, I decided I would be courageous and walk a local trail alone that I had hiked twice this week each time with friends. Usually, the trailhead has a few cars in the parking lot, but today there wasn’t a single one.

Of course.

“You can do this,” I told myself as I started the trail. “It’ll be fine. This is no big deal.” It felt as though my heart might beat right out of my chest as every downed log looked exactly like a black bear poised to strike. Every noise was an animal coming up behind me. I’m too stubborn to turn back but with each step and each rattle of my keys (my best friend suggested I make as much noise as possible) I realized I couldn’t do this alone. I was going to have to call a friend.

The first friend sent me to voicemail. (Don’t worry she called me back later. haha) I knew my next and best option was my sister who THANK GOD picked up the phone and would be my companion on that hike for the entire 45 minutes. She is an actual saint and when I’d freak out over a sound she’d go, “What is it?!?!” One time it was a hawk that fell out of a tree. Another time it was a family of 4 deer crossing my path. In case you were wondering, neither the hawk or deer tried to eat me. I was safe.

When on other occasions this trek left me more at ease with each passing step– today was different. Was it still beautiful? Yes. Was it any more demanding then it had been on other days? No. Same trail, but a completely different experience.

I recently finished an online class on Race & American Christianity through the college I once attended. When my professor would email us he’d begin with the greeting, “Dear Sojourners,” and it was quite fitting as many of us were trying to find our way through the intersection of faith and social justice.

In my final paper, I referenced that identity and how it seemed to accurately define where I was at in life. Much like the Israelites wandering in the desert, I felt like I had been freed from a place of bondage and yet I hadn’t quite made it to the Promised Land. There was talk of “milk & honey”, but all I can see is sand and all I know is wandering. I’m convinced there’s something GOOD ahead, but what do I do in THIS place?

I guess….I keep walking just like I did today. Too stubborn to quit. Crossed that sea and there’s no turning back now. It’s scary and I’m not quite sure how I’m going to do it. Days where the anxiety caused by all the unknowns just about kill me.

Unlike at the Houghton Land Preserve trail, there is no map. There are no blue spray painted markers alerting me to turn right here or a carved wooden sign alerting me “End of Trail”. There are many unexpected twists and turns and moments of “This looks familiar! Haven’t we been here before?!” or “Where the heck are we?!”

There are no “3 Easy Steps” into the Promised Land and it may take longer than you thought to actually get there, but you will get there. You may need to call a friend and have them walk with you through a scary part. You may need to tell yourself “You CAN do this.” Or rattle something noisy and let every scary thing know you are in the area. You’ll most certainly need to let out a few desperate prayers asking God to help you do it, too.

Dear Sojourner, keep going. I know you’re weary and tired and you’ve walked long enough. I know things don’t look like you thought. I know you had hopes and dreams and things couldn’t seem any further from them. I know you don’t have a clue what to do next or how long this hike will take you. There’s more “I don’t knows” than answers. I get it. Just please, keep going.

With love and affection, A fellow sojourner

Finding My Way Home

finding my way home

A friend came to visit me recently. She’s a few years younger than me and exponentially more athletic. Like a good friend, I thought since she had driven hours to spend a few days with me I could at least make sure she had a good time.

If you know anything about me, on free weekends (they don’t occur very often) I like to spend time vegging out watching Netflix. I always tell myself I should be productive and get some reading, writing, or cleaning done. That becomes difficult when they make every episode of the Frasier series available. What other options do I have but to start from Season 1 Episode 1?

Instead of making my friend endure through hours upon hours of a show she’s never heard of, we decided to spend our time doing some site seeing and hiking. When I say “hiking” read walking through the woods at a pleasant and mostly non-strenuous pace. Well, non-strenuous for some people. I, for one, was huffing it both days.

Our first day’s hike took us to a local state park that had beautiful waterfalls, stone bridges and lots and lots of stairs. We captured a few selfies to remember the adventure– one of which we took on “Lover’s Lane”. We laughed at the name of our selected trail, but I secretly hoped I might find a single, bearded lumberjack along the way. 🙂

photo (6)

I didn’t find my lumberjack, but it was fun none-the-less.

The next day we decided to visit a Nature Center that had numerous trails and a scenic overlook that would show us the river and the valley below. I’d hiked there the previous summer and I didn’t remember it being too difficult. I remember enjoying the view and thought it would be nice to experience it again. The trail head included a map showing the different colored routes you could take. Each one indicating how long the trails were, where they’d join and which one would take us all the way to the overlook.

The over-sized map also included warning signs letting us know that this was a rattlesnake preserve land and that even though we most likely wouldn’t see one, if we did, to proceed with caution and report it to the Park Ranger. You won’t have to worry about that, Ranger Man, if I see a rattlesnake the entire hillside is going to know about it. Also, I’ll be the blur running past you at record speed.

We didn’t see a rattlesnake on our hike, thankfully.

But we did get lost.

You see, even though we had taken a picture of the map with our trusty iPhones, and there were colored markers every few yards, somehow we got off track. We started off following the red trail, but somewhere in the middle of our hike the red markers disappeared and all we saw were yellow markers. There was no overlook and there certainly wasn’t a bench. I was convinced we had been walking exclusively uphill at an 80 degree angle. The sky was getting dark overhead and I was hearing the slight rumbles of thunder in the distance. Of course the Weather Man’s prediction of rain would be 100% on the money while we were stuck on some trail not quite sure if we were coming or going.

I was getting discouraged and my brain was just beginning to hit panic mode. I didn’t want to get stuck walking circles in the woods–especially if a storm was coming. In a moment of pure genius, my friend checked the compass on her phone. I’m sure she did it because she realized I was starting to fray around the edges. We had managed to have ourselves pointed in the direction that led us out of the woods and back to the Nature Center within minutes.

We had read the signs wrong, but we made it back home.

As we walked through the parking lot, and drove down off the hill, I wondered how often that has happened to me in life. I was walking around, enjoying my company, the lovely views and gotten myself off track. Realizing I wasn’t quite sure where I was, began to panic noticing the dark clouds. And yet, I’d make it home safe and sound all because I knew what direction would lead me there.

I’ll be the first to tell you I’ve gotten off track before….many, many times. I had mistakenly thought I was doing the right thing only to find out that along the way I had taken a wrong turn. Sometimes I’m quick to see my misstep and other times I’m out there wandering like the Jews in the desert circling the same mountain over and over again.

Then, there in the midst of my panic, confusion and uncertainly I finally stop and set my eyes back on God. My focus back now where it should be, He leads me out and leads me Home.

His grace welcoming me back.