Are you for real?

are you for real

Social media has a bad reputation. It gets accused of being shallow and showing the world only the best and most exciting parts of a person’s life. That it breeds narcissism, selfishness and egotism. You can after all, at any moment, show the world your OOTD*, what you ate for breakfast and give your critique of the movie you watched all while sitting on the toilet taking a dump.

These types of bed head pics don’t usually make the cut, unless of course you’re ok with people seeing morning eye crusties:

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Usually, we post the perfectly filtered profile picture ready ones like these:

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As much as I’d love to peg Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or any other social media site as the scapegoat I know the real problem isn’t the media being used, but the person using it.

I don’t think social media is the problem. As much as my dad may disagree. I think the issue of shallow relationships, selective sharing and spotlighting achievements has been happening since before the Internet was even invented. Before electricity even. You see, from the beginning, humanity has been trying to cover up the undesirable parts. (If you want an explanation on that, check out my post “Showering Naked & Other Fears”.)

I assure you, I agree there is a problem. I guess I’m just more frustrated with people who ask, “How are you doing?” and then look at you like you just rained on their parade when you give them an honest response. I understand there are certain social norms that dictate that the “appropriate” response is “fine” or “good”, but I can’t bring myself to lie if that isn’t how I’m feeling. I’ve found my honesty is unwarranted most of the time, but I figure they’ll think twice before asking me again.

I also understand that not everyone is meant to be in the “inner circle” of your life. That some people are strangers, others are acquaintances, others are going to get ice cream friends and others still are sitting by your hospital bed companions. There’s this relationship hierarchy and with each level comes higher responsibility, deeper commitment and vulnerability. There’s wisdom in boundaries, to a certain extent.

Here’s the thing: Genuine relationship is rooted in honest dialogue.

And sometimes honest dialogue comes when someone finds out, “Hey! I do that too” or “I’ve felt like that”. So even though I might not want people to know certain things, sharing those things can make a connection. And I believe, ultimately it will bring freedom and relief to know I’m not alone, but someone can relate.

It’s not easy and everything inside is screaming: DON’T SHARE THAT! THEY WON’T ACCEPT YOU ANYMORE! THEY WON’T LOVE YOU ANYMORE. THEY’LL LOOK AT YOU DIFFERENTLY! But that’s just the enemy trying to keep you isolated. Some people may look at you differently, but for others you may just be the breath of fresh air they’ve been gasping for.

That’s one of the reasons why I write this blog. If someone, even ONE person can connect with my struggle, my story, and find some kind of freedom, some kind of Life for their weary bones than its all worth it to me.

*For those of you who don’t know what this acronym stands for, let me help you out. Outfit Of The Day. Yup. It’s a thing. I promise.

My 100% Rule

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I’ve come to the conclusion, a very wise conclusion I might add, that I can’t be 100% right about 100% of the things. Whatever those things may be.

Shocking, I know.

In my defense, I’ve publicly admitted to being wrong before.

With the increased use of social media, people seem to be more comfortable with sharing their opinions. I’m all for free speech and the freedom to share your 2 cents on things. I do that ALL the time. Exhibit A: this blog.

The problem comes when you think your opinion, my opinion, the Pope’s opinion, is the only correct opinion. Listen, I know the Pope is a man of God and even Time’s person of the year, but he’s fallible.

As are you.

Oh, right, and me too.

Whether it be the best sports team or my stance on a variety of theological issues– I’m not always right. This is hard for some Christians to admit because we are so concerned with getting it “right”. Admittedly, there are some issues I’ll stubbornly hold on to until my dying day, but I won’t damn you to hell if you don’t agree. That’s WAY out of my pay grade.

The thing that frustrates me the most about the “I’m right, you’re wrong” mentality is that it comes off super cocky. It tells the other person that you care more about being right than about having a listening, loving ear.

Listen, I’m not asking you to change your mind or your stance on issues. All I’m saying is take some advice from Kid President. Next time you disagree with a FB post, tweet or politician tell them: “I disagree with you but I still like you as a person who is a human being and I will treat you like that.”