I almost quit this week.
Monday night I called my best friend in tears, “I don’t think I’m strong enough to do this. Maybe I should just give up now.” Fear had crept in and I started to wonder if I really had what it takes to continue pursuing this dream, but fear is a liar.
The thing is– this blog, my writing, isn’t just some good idea I fell upon one day. I wasn’t bored looking for something to fill my time. I wasn’t looking for popularity. In reality, at the time I started this blog, I hadn’t even been dreaming.
Some of the most powerful portions of Scripture include a “But God” moment. A pivotal moment where there is no possible way for a victory to come unless God does a miracle. Everyone involved and everyone watching knows there can only be one explanation and it has to be bigger than themselves or their circumstances. It has to be God.
This blog is the result of a “But God” moment. I had been living life to the best of my ability– going to work every day and filling my evenings with a variety of ministry opportunities. All of them good things. Good things have a way of distracting us from the even greater things God has for us. Up until then that’s where my life was– it had plateaued at good and God had so much more in store for me.
People had been telling me to write for years. They saw greatness in me, but I had dismissed it. Not me, I thought, I couldn’t possibly do that. Those lies bound my hands and silenced my mouth for far too long.
Day in and day out, I’d suppress the desires of my heart– thinking that they were somehow selfish or wrong. I had forgotten along the way that it was God who had been the one to give me those desires in the first place. So, I tried to stifle the fire that was in my soul to write.
With time, as much as I tried to extinguish the flames, God continued to fan them. Finally, I gave in to the heat. “Alright. I’ll write,” I told God. A sideways grin formed on His face….or so I imagined.
So I began to write. And now I can’t NOT write. I feel compelled to do it with every ounce of my being. Yes, there are days where fear creeps in like it did this week. There are moments where the voices in my head tell me to just give up now. Those are the moments where I have to remind myself this is bigger than me.
It has been an amazing journey– one which I could have never imagined and this is just the beginning. There’s so much more in store. Not because I’ve got it all planned out, but because He’s writing the story. (I’m still hoping He adds in my partner for this adventure soon!)
What is it that you’ve felt like you should be doing, but have allowed fear to derail you? Don’t believe the lies that tell you that you can’t do it– you can. In fact, you’ve been made to do it. Now walk in it.
7 thoughts on “#FireWorkPeople: Do What You Were Made To Do”
The fear is ego getting in the way, give it something to do thats not real important, ritual is real good for that. Hard to be a god conduit when we keep filling the tube with crap.
Ya, I get ya. Good thoughts, Paul!
I’ve had a similar journey with writing. It’s in my blood, and I crave it. But I’m afraid that what I have to say will be irrelevant, or offensive, or some other form of not-worth-reading. Fear keeps me silent for weeks at a time. Thanks for the reminder to push through the fear.
Ya, at the end of the day we have to make sure our focus is in the right place. There will always be people who have something negative to say, but are you saying what God has asked you to. Then, you need to be obedient to that. That’s where I find myself everyday. It’s all for Him anyway.
I too have been told by others (and God) that I need to be writing. And God has specifically given me two books to write – one non-fiction, the other fiction. I need to start doing it! I’ve put it off for more than 10 years. Is writing your job?
Writing is my passion. It doesn’t pay (at this point), but maybe some day! 🙂 Let me encourage you, again, don’t put off what God has called you to do. Start taking some action steps…it’ll be hard, but that’s ok. Just keep moving forward.
PS: Fear has been a big part of it too.