Singleness is hard.
The struggle takes place in our mind with the same question on repeat, “Why am I single?” I have this list I’ve started with reasons that could try and explain why I’m 30 and still single. Most of them are just silly. For example, I’m still single because I don’t make my bed every morning or because frequently I’ll start a conversation with, “Ya know what I heard on the NPR today?”
There are some reasons floating around in this head of mine, though, that are a lot less funny. Like maybe I’m not beautiful enough for a man to love me or maybe I’m too much of a mess. I mean, there’s got to be a reason and I’m assuming that must mean there’s a problem with me.
When I think these thoughts– these lies– I text a friend for encouragement or open up my Bible and start inserting Truth into my mind to combat those lies.
And reading Allison Flexer’s book, Truth, Lies, and the Single Woman is the perfect mix of those two things. It’s like I’m sitting down with a close friend over a cup of coffee and she’s listening to me spout off the things I’ve been thinking about concerning my singleness. She hears the hurt, the loneliness, and the lies. The lies that tell me that I’m unlovable and unworthy of love. The lies that tell me that I need to settle because if I don’t I’ll die alone. The lies that tell me that life is in some kind of circling pattern until I get married.
Like any good friend, Allison reminds me where my value truly comes from– that it’s not wrapped up in a man (even a bearded, flannel-wearing man). In her book, she discusses 10 common lies that we can struggle with in singleness. Each chapter brings the Truth to the lie and backs it up with Scripture. We all need reminders of the Truth found in her book.
A WORD FROM ALLISON: I started writing Truth, Lies, and the Single Woman when I was 33 years old and very much single. Having just quit my corporate job, I was dealing with a lot of emotions regarding self-worth and my identity. As I wrote, God began to reveal lies I believed and the negative effect that deception had on my life. As I filled my life with God’s healing truth, I wanted to share it with other single women. I’m so passionate about single women believing they are valuable and loved and beautiful. For all of the single women reading this: There is nothing wrong with you. Your marital status doesn’t define your value nor does it make you second class. God delights in you, and He’s the one who can satisfy your deep longings to be fully known and loved.
GIVEWAY ALERT And because I’ve been encouraged by this book and the truths found inside: I’d like to give you a copy. Well, not all of you, but ONE lucky person. In order to be entered into the random drawing, please share this blog post on FB (there’s that super easy share button at the bottom of the post) and then leave me a comment below. That part is important, because if you win I’ll need to know how to contact you! The drawing will take place on Wednesday, Oct. 15th, 2014!
If you’d like more information on Allison, please check out her bio below.
Allison K. Flexer is an author, speaker, and blogger who is passionate about communicating the love of God to others. Her first book, Truth, Lies, and the Single Woman (Beacon Hill Press), tells the story of her single journey and gives practical steps for letting go of the lies that destroy the joy and confidence of unmarried women. Allison was also a contributing writer for Fulfilled: The NIV Devotional Bible for the Single Woman. You can connect with Allison on her website at www.allisonflexer.com or on Twitter: @allisonkflex.
The Common Queen 
Yes, Holly. This. It is so much easier to believe the lies. We are worthy of so much more. We just have to believe it.
Absolutely! We’ve got to continue to speak Truth to those lies. Repeatedly. You’ve been entered into the drawing!! Thanks for sharing and commenting!
I shared it! Hope I win! Thank u and Gid Bless u!!
Thanks, Amanda! I’ve entered you into the drawing!!
Holly, thank you SO MUCH for hosting me on your blog today! You are an amazing and beautiful single woman, and I’m so honored that you enjoyed the book. (By the way, I’m not entering to win the contest since I have a box of 100 of them sitting at my feet…lol). Have a fantastic day and if anyone has any questions for me, just leave them in the comments! 🙂
It was very much my pleasure, Allison! I’ve so enjoyed getting to know you and your heart for single women. I’m grateful for the ways you build us up and encourage us during this season. I’ll make sure to give the book to someone else. haha 😉 Thanks again!
I shared it.
Thank you, Cassie!! I appreciate it! I’ve entered you into the drawing!
this is totally where I’m at right now. As someone who is approaching 30 and is still single I totally experience all those emotions.
Then, Allison’s book is perfect for you! Seriously. It was super encouraging and spoke Truth exactly where we need it. 🙂
Sweet, just entered! And I’m totally there in that struggle of feeling like there’s something wrong with me because I’m single, especially when it feels like everyone is pairing up…
Thanks for entering! I’ll do the drawing next Wednesday! 🙂 And I get that except now most of my friends are having babies! But believe me, there’s nothing wrong with you! You are a wonderful treasure….worth finding!!
This is so awesome you are facilitating this giveaway! Thank you 🙂
My pleasure! Thanks for entering! I really loved Allison’s book and want to pass it along!
Isabelle you are the WINNER of “Truth, Lies and the Single Woman”. Be checking your email for a message from me. 🙂 Congratulations!
I’m excited about this book and sharing this post. So many people I know feel this same way!
Thank you so much for sharing! I’ve entered you into the drawing!! There are many of us who struggle here for sure. This book was so encouraging to me!
I’ve often wondered myself why I’m single. I’ve been divorced over 20 yrs. The right one hasn’t came along yet or possibly that is not in God’s plan?
Hi Michele, I totally understand that feeling of waiting without understanding God’s plan. I’m glad you haven’t chosen to settle during those 20 years. Remember that God is not absent, even through he may be silent for a season. Keep pouring your heart out to him. Let him know your desires and your questions. There is a purpose to the journey he selected for you. I’ll be praying for you!
Also, I would love for you to check out my prayer for single women. This is in the book, but also on my blog here: http://anointedwithgrace.com/2012/04/30/a-prayer-for-single-women/
I wish I had a clear answer to give you, but all I know is that it isn’t a sin to hope. And in hoping put our trust in God in the process/season. You’re a wonderful treasure, Michele.