I can see that look in your eye. Before you start whipping out some well-intentioned encouragement make sure it didn’t make it to this list first. Also, as I have stated previously there are TONS of singleness perks, but this week I’ve been reminded of some of the not-so-sweet moments of singleness.
Moment #1: When I’m sick and there’s no one to pity me and take care of me
All I want is for someone else to get up and get me another box of tissues or to fill up my water glass so I can lay here and bemoan how much I hate being sick. Thank God, I have a best friend who drops off medicine and sends me a “You still alive?” text, but its not the same. I want someone to snuggle up to me and my mound of used tissues while we watch the entire Season 1 of Sherlock Holmes.
Maybe if I had someone to take care of me I’d be getting better, quicker. I don’t know. Just a thought. 😉
Moment #2: Going to events solo
In a moment of sheer stupidity, I RSVP’d “yes” to a wedding knowing full well I’d be rolling in solo. I think I was just excited to have mail that wasn’t another bill or politician lobbying for my vote that I forgot how uncomfortable it is to show up alone. I will, of course, know people there, but those first few nail biting moments when you walk through the door searching for a friendly face is the worst. You’re hoping to find someone…ANYONE…to talk to– even that annoying guy who you’ve tried to avoid once (or twice) before.
If no friendly face is found, the phone becomes your only hope. I begin texting every single one of my contacts in hopes that someone will reply and I’ll at least get to have a conversation with someone. Albeit someone not in the same room, but I’ll take what I can get.
It’s not only weddings, though. That one may be the most obvious answer, but there’s others. Like that day I was craving Chimichangas and decided eating at the local Mexican Restaurant alone would be no big deal. It was rough. Even the waiter had this look of pity in his eyes. Next time, I’ll just take a sad Taco Bell drive thru substitute instead.
Moment #3: Holidays
I’m not just talking about the BIG ones– like at Christmas when you’re drinking Egg Nog and listening to your Grandma tell you for the hundredth time how you’re “going to find a good man one day”. Or when the balls drops on New Years and you’re left taking a very long sip of your champagne (or soda or whatever) until everyone comes up for air and a “HAPPY NEW YEAR!!” cheer.
No, I’m not talking about those holidays.
I’m talking about the long weekend holidays– like Memorial Day or Labor Day. The majority of your friends are planning BBQ’s or hikes at local State Parks and you’re just hoping one of them remembers to call and invite you over. Thankfully, I do have friends who remember me, but sometimes being squished between two car seats gets you thinking that maybe you need to try that online dating site one more time.
Moment #4: Going to bed
During the summer I get this awesome opportunity to be a Camp Counselor for a week. I get my little “flock” of girls that follow me every where I go. At bedtime, I turn out all the lights except for the Christmas lights I’ve strung around the ceiling. We share funny stories or things we’ve been struggling through. Sometimes they ask me to share stories. So far, their favorite stories are of my “worst dates”. These stories usually leave them in an uproar. Through chuckles they try to get out the words, “Did that really happen?!” And I have to tell them it did…and they laugh even harder.
Then, like a modern version of the The Waltons, each girl tells me “Goodnight!” and we drift off to sleep each one wearing a smile.
For the other 51 weeks out of my year, my bedtime routine is much less fun. It usually involves one last chap stick application, my bedside lamp turned off and the glow of my phone as I check social media sites one last time.
Sure, I get the whole bed to myself, but where’s the fun in that?
Moment #5: At church
Sunday mornings may be my biggest struggle in regards to my singleness.
Firstly, I still sit with my parents. While this is MY choice, everyone else is sitting with their families so it would seem like the right thing to do. I remember being in high school, all of us teenagers would sit together and make whispered remarks….until we got the look from our parents. Then, we’d shut up for fear that they’d make us sit with them as punishment. Apparently, being single at 30 means I willingly choose what was once considered punishment for lack of better options.
But it’s the cuteness of my parents that kills me. Every Sunday, without fail, my dad leans over to my mom and tells her she looks beautiful and then gives her a kiss. My parents have given me an amazing example of a godly marriage and I am very thankful for it. Honestly, they’re the best! So good in fact that I’d like a marriage like that of my own.
Then, there are the dear wonderful church ladies telling me I won’t be single forever. That I’ve still got time (like I’ve got a “freshest by” date stamped on me– Marry before 12/12/17) and all the other things people say to encourage the poor single people.
I promise, this isn’t turning into a blog about my singleness. It’s just what has been on my mind lately and I’d rather share honest feelings than something contrived. Thanks for sharing in the laughs with me! 🙂