While in the Drive-Thru of my local McD’s I noticed a sign in the window that read: “We will be closed March 15-May 15 due to renovations. Sorry for the inconvenience.” It IS an inconvenience, McDonald’s. Do you expect me to make my own breakfast? Gosh.
It’s been closed a few weeks now, and I drove by it on my way to the grocery store…to get food to make my own breakfast when I noticed something startling. Apparently, when they used the word “renovation” they should have used the words demolish, overhaul, REBUILD. All of those would have been more appropriate than renovate, which makes us think of new paint colors on the wall and an updated Ronald statue in the entrance. Instead, there were some piles of rubble, a few full dumpsters and that was it. Nothing remained of the old building. Nothing.
I’m a simple kid and I keep a simple kind of faith. I pray simple prayers and say simple things like “Jesus, do what you want with my life. I am yours.” That simple, dangerous statement Jesus has taken very seriously much to my surprise.
As I mentioned is my previous post Jesus is interested in doing an overhaul– not just a surface cleaning of my heart. But from where I stand, all I can see, is wreckage. “I asked for this.” I mumble to myself as I look around at the debris…the brokenness. I see Jesus running the bulldozer. His yellow hard hat standing out in a sea of grey. He smiles and gives me a thumbs up. I muster a slight smile as a tear stumbles down my cheek.
Everything is shattered.
Nothing has gone untouched.
I’m often told by those who love me, and who also love Jesus, that this is a GOOD place to be. I’ve taken their word for it because nothing feels GOOD about this. It hurts. And sometimes, I’m very angry about all of it. My prayer life has been more like a steady stream of comment cards in Jesus’ suggestion box. I tell Him how I’d like things done. The timeline I’d like them done in. Oh, and don’t forget the chocolate. He softly reminds me He didn’t ask for my suggestions and He doesn’t need my help. He has sent the chocolate though.
So, what do I do? I go back to the basics. God loves me. God is good. God’s grace is sufficient. God is made perfect in my weakness. God is my provider. God is my healer. God hasn’t abandoned me. Each Truth just enough to swallow in one bite.
I’ll leave you with this excerpt from Brothers McClurg’s song “You shine through”, which has been an encouragement to my soul:
You shine brighter when we’re broken
With our hearts stretched out upon the floor
In our weakness and our failures,
Your light shines beauty to this world
From our broken hearts, we’re crying out
Through the cracks in all of us,
Through the fractures and through the dust,
You shine through, You shine through
In the darkness, you’re the dawn,
Blazing like the morning sun,
You shine through, You shine through.
Jesus, from the wreckage I ask that your glory would shine bright, that your love would flow free and your grace would be in abundance.
4 thoughts on “From the Wreckage”
Holly, this is beautiful writing. Continue to write because it connects with people in such a raw and vulnerable way.
Thanks for sharing with us.
Thank you, Kevin. I’ve found that it’s all I know how to be- just be honest and people connect to it.
Such beauty and hope woven in your words.
Thank you, Tammy. My fear in sharing where I’m at is that it’ll come off negative…I want people to know hope despite difficulty.